


Marry Me!

by kristsune



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Fluff, Fluff and silliness, M/M, Mild Swearing, Pirate wedding, Trans!Barnes, basically the wedding scene from pirates of the Caribbean, but carnes and barter style, impromptu marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristsune/pseuds/kristsune
Summary: Carter and Barnes decide they want to get married, it just happens to be in the middle of a pitched battle.
Relationships: Commander Barnes/Howard Carter (Rusty Quill Gaming)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 43





	Marry Me!

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [this post](https://kristsune.tumblr.com/post/619794394616365056/lesbianshepard-interesting-how-movies-still) and decided everyone needs some fluff and silliness right now. Who better to do that than carnes and barter <3 
> 
> Thank you to the Wilde Riders for your encouragement, and thank you to felineladyy to your contribution, it fit perfectly XD

“Marry me!”

“ _What_?!” Barnes turned at Carter’s voice, only to immediately need to duck under a wild swing of a mook’s sword.

“Come on! Marry me! I know you want to!” Carter paused to stab a bloke in the neck before yanking it out and throwing it with precision into some unlucky lad’s chest. “Never know when we’ll actually get a chance to do so! Just!” Carter ducked to stab another lad in the thigh, “Marry me!”

Barnes finished off the mook he had been facing off with, and found himself laughing, “Yeah! Okay, yeah! Let’s do it! Who’s gonna marry us? Technically I’m the highest ranking officer on this boat.”

They both took a moment to look at each other in the eye, and simultaneously replied, “ _Zolf_.” 

They managed to fight their way to Zolf in the pouring rain, facing off against a trio of lads and/or blokes, and doing quite well for himself.

“Zolf! Zolf you gotta marry us!” Carter shouted before they could even engage with the enemy.

Zolf paused for a moment, “ _What_?!” before having to knock aside a sword thrust that would have gotten him in the shoulder otherwise.

Carter threw a knife and hit dead center of the back of one of them, and Barnes was able to take down the other before he even had a chance to turn around as Zolf was finishing with the last one.

“Will you do it?” Carter was bright eyed and smiling, despite the fresh spray of blood along his chest, and neck. 

Zolf took the moment of reprieve to lean his weight onto his glaive. “What makes you think I can marry you? I don’t even hold a rank anymore, never mind captain, not since I stopped sailing.” 

“I’m a commander, and I am giving you a field promotion to Captain, for-” Barnes shrugged trying to think off the top of his head - “exceptional show of bravery, fuck, I don’t know. Because I say you are!” 

Zolf threw up his hands, “You can’t just _do_ that!” 

“I sure can, and I just did! Now, will you marry us?!” Barnes held out his free hand and Carter took it, squeezing once, waiting for Zolf’s answer.

He finally caved in, “ _Fine_! Fine. I’ll do it. Bloomin’ idiots." 

Before Zolf could get started, another wave of lads and blokes surged onto the deck from over the side, and they were in the thick of it again, fighting them off from all sides.

Now that they had decided to, the energy and excitement was bubbling out of Barnes, and he couldn’t wait any longer, it was like electricity was buzzing under his skin. He kicked the lad he was up against in the knee dropping them to the ground before slicing them through, “Zolf! You said you’d marry us!” 

“We’re! A little! Busy!” Zolf replied, punctuating each word with a swing of his glaive. 

Carter chimed in from where he had just pushed a bloke overboard, “So what?! You don’t need to stop fighting to say a few words!”

Barnes was just able to catch the soft “Bloody hells,” before he started in earnest, “Dearly beloved, and - ah - everyone else that happens to be here, we are gathered - ah, _fuck_ \- we are gathered here to witness the joining of these two people.”

Carter had just made it back to Barnes and they grasped hands, standing chest to chest, “Howard Carter, will you take me to be your husband?” 

Carter smiled widely, “I do!”

His smile disappeared quick before he shoved Barnes’ shoulders as down a sword whistled by where his head had been a moment before. Barnes continued the movement, somersaulting under Carter’s arm as he threw a knife at his assailant, and got back to his feet just in time to cut another lad down who was threatening Carter’s back.

After they were clear they both spun around and clasped hands again, Carter’s smile just as wide as it had been, “Joshua Barnes, do you take me to be your husband?”

Barnes thought he heard Zolf say “Joshua?” but he ignored it, feeling the smile pull at his own lips, “I do.”

“You may now-”

“Hey are you guys alright over here?” Hamid flew in overhead, impressively in control despite the rain. ”Cel, and Azu have the other side, the front -”

“The bow.” Barnes interjected, without breaking eye contact with Carter.

“Yeah! We’ve got the bow all clear.” He gave them a questioning look, “What are you doing?"

Carter grinned up at him, “We’re getting married!”

Hamid smiled back at them, “Oh! Congratulations! I’ve never been to a wedding on a boat! This is so fun!”

Zolf groaned loudly even as he took out another bloke, “A little help here?” 

“Oh! Yes! Of course!” Hamid turned, and used magic missile; quickly taking out the remaining mooks that had been attempting (and failing) to over take Zolf.

Zolf sighed, and leaned against his glaive again. “Right, Now, where were we?”

“The good part.” Barnes whispered, Howard turned back to him smiling with his whole self. 

“You may now, kiss.” 

Barnes brought his free hand up to rest Carter’s neck as they leaned in to kiss, Carter’s wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer. 

“Hey! What’d we miss?”

Carter broke the kiss at Cel’s voice, “We’re married!”

Barnes could not describe the joy he felt at how excited Carter was, and how already, at every single opportunity, he was determined to shout to the world that they were married.

Cel and Azu both made sounds of disappointment at missing the impromptu ceremony, but Barnes stopped paying attention as he tilted Carter’s face back towards him.

“Wasn’t finished with you yet.”

Carter looked like he was about to open his mouth in question, but Barnes beat him to it, and leaned in for another kiss, which Carter returned enthusiastically. 

When they finally broke apart, Barnes pressed their foreheads together, and whispered against his lips, “Love you, Howard.”

“Love you too, Joshua.” 

“Really?! Joshua? Did you all know this?” 

Barnes heard several shushing voices, all aimed at Zolf, and couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He supposed there were worse ways for everyone to find out his chosen name.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to come visit me over on [tumblr](https://kristsune.tumblr.com/) or [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Kristsune)


End file.
